


Planet Side

by neosaiyanangel



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Attempt at writing a show I haven’t seen, Characters respect each other, Doing Something Nice for Someone You’re Definitely Not in Love With, First Kiss, M/M, Other, Tentacle Monsters, Tentacles, This is how an episode of the show goes right?, Uniform Kink, Vulcan Magic, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 14:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21375610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/pseuds/neosaiyanangel
Summary: McCoy, Spock, Kirk, and a lot of red shirts beam down to a planet in search of life. McCoy would help look if he could just stop staring at the always-put-together Vulcan.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Other(s), Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Comments: 21
Kudos: 25
Collections: Osmosis Exchange





	Planet Side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DoreyG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/gifts).

> This was written for the Osmosis Exchange, which means that I haven't seen the film(s), the show, nor have I read a wiki or, at least, not within the last 10-15 years. I pretty much just based this on memes and jokes I’ve seen along with my poor memory. Let me know how close I got!

McCoy sighed as he looked around the rocky terrain around them. Himself, Spock, Kirk, and several red shirts had beamed down to the surface of this planet to explore the signs of life that the ship had detected. Why senior officers like them had to do a basic survey mission he never knew. It always seemed to lead to trouble.

But…

He stole a glance at Spock. The magnificent bastard looked impeccable in his suit. His shirt was neatly pressed, with every button in place. His shoes had a mirror shine to them, and his pants were perfectly settled against his rear.

These missions, while stupid, allowed him to look at the Vulcan without needing to go out of his way to do so. As long as he got to be near Spock, it was worth it.

"Spock!" Kirk suddenly shouted from in a crater that he had scampered into. "Could you...please...give me the...life detector?"

"Of course, Captain." The Vulcan pulled out a tricorder from his belt and carefully tossed it down to their captain.

"Thank you...Spooooock."

"You're welcome."

Prim and proper. Damn, was that attractive.

McCoy coughed, trying to clear his head. '_Not the time to admire that ass…!_'

"Bones?" McCoy snapped to attention as he suddenly realized Spock was now too comfortably close. A scrutinizing look was on the Vulcan's face. A strange note was in his voice as he quiried, "Are you feeling well? You look flushed."

"Dammit, Spock, I'm fine!" McCoy snapped, trying not to take in the strong bent of Spock's jaw.

"Hm…" Spock looked like he was going to protest, but was cut off by a cry from the crater.

"I...think...I found...some_thing_," Kirk called up.

McCoy shrugged at the Vulcan, secretly swallowing, before hopping into the crater. The rest of the crew followed behind him. They all carefully slid down to the center of the crater where Captain Kirk was on his knees examining something.

"Bones..." Kirk waved at the thing he was scanning over with the tricorder. "What...do you make...of this?"

McCoy took a look at whatever it was, then scoffed. He huffed, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a botanist!"

"Interesting," Spock said as he bent down next to Kirk. "It appears to be thriving even in this mostly dead biome."

"Yes...it is," Kirk said as he reached down to touch it.

Suddenly tentacles sprouted all around them, bursting out of the ground in flailing clumps. The red shirts around the three senior officers cried out as the tentacles threw out barbs. All of them fell to the ground, writhing in agony before laying still. McCoy could tell they were dead from where he was.

Kirk jumped back, startled, as a mass rose from behind the small plant. A large leafy plant seemed to 'look' at them now as the tentacles pulled to itself. It pulled itself up before lashing a tentacle out at McCoy.

He dodged backwards, startled and stumbling, as the tentacle painfully grazed his ankle. Spock was instantly there, helping him to his feet as Kirk jumped into the fray. The captain began wrestling the tentacles. A karate chop was delivered to the main plant body, causing it to squeal.

"Spock! Get...Bones...to safety! I can...handle...this!" Kirk called behind him.

"Understood." Spock scooped McCoy up in his arms and swiftly made his way up the crater. Once they crossed the lip, the Vulcan set him down. Spock noted, "Seems like you are injured."

"I'm fine," McCoy grumbled as he looked at the wound. A basic barely-bleeding scrape. Nothing he couldn't handle.

"I can administer some of my Vulcan powers to help," Spock suggested.

...What the hell. It could buy him some more time with Spock close to him. Why not let him use some of his magic to heal him?

"Sure. Do your thing," he said gruffly.

"Very well." To McCoy's surprise, the Vulcan bent down and locked lips with him. He wasn't so surprised that he didn't return the kiss

Bliss. Utter bliss. The Vulcan's lips were smooth and warm. Perfection. It was everything McCoy had hoped and wanted.

Sadly, after several moments, Spock broke the lip lock. He noted, "I think you will find that you are fully healed now."

McCoy looked down, blinking, as he realized the other man was _right_. The wound was completely gone. Even his clothes were fixed!

"Hot damn!" he breathed. "That's a pretty good trick."

"Hm." Spock sighed. "Feelings are...illogical."

McCoy gave him a look. "Feelings, eh? Any of them in relation to me?"

"All of them."

The doctor gave Spock a cheeky grin. "Would you care to exercise some of those illogical feelings?"

Spock smiled, just a little. "That would be an interesting experiment. I think it would be worth our while."

"Finally, feelings!" McCoy chuckled as he got to his feet. "Alright. Let's head out."

The two of them went back to the crater to check on Kirk.

Upon seeing the scene that greeted them, McCoy cringed. He wished he couldn't believe it, but he could. Of _course_ the captain would be this depraved!

"Captain," Spock called down, "you may wish to reclothe yourself."

"Dammit, Jim, don't you have _any_ self-respect?!" McCoy yelled as Kirk seemed to finish humping the giant plant, its tentacles wrapped sensuously around the captain.

"She...was just worried...about her child," Kirk shouted back as he pulled his pants back up. Even with his attempts to look put together as he pulled himself free of the plant it was obvious he'd been up to something sexual. He was covered in too many liquids for it to be considered normal. The captain gave the plant one last lucious kiss on what may have been its equivalent to a head before he made his way up the crater.

"I think our business is concluded," Spock said. "There is confirmed life on this planet."

"Yes!" Kirk agreed. "Very..._sexy_...life."

"Hm." McCoy sighed. "Only you, Kirk."

The three of them then laughed as they were beamed back onto the ship, leaving the ravaged bodies of the red shirts behind to be eaten by the plant.


End file.
